I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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