So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm both gender and math confused
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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