We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
