Got a toothbrush?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Let's paint friendship bongs
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
