Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
