Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I think I died a long time ago.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
