This is not my ceiling
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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