I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
be right there i have to get my cape
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
