How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
