He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
