I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
