1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
