dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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