Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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