My first STD was from a foam party
her vagine was all disorganized.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize