I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
