I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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