What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
apparently the secret to your success is patron
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
