so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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