Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
