Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Randomize
