I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
