every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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