Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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