I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
