she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
