I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize