May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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