I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
your like the ambassador to my penis.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
