If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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