i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
