I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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