small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
