So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
