i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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