Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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