You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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