My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
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