I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
