Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
