Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
