There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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