In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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