i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
