therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
