that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
