So drunk its hurt
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
