i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
