My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
