I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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