so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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