THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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