She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
