dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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