Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
