Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
