Kiss
Puke
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
