What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
