I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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