Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
