dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
